D.B. Wright
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The Road to Resilience

Self Compassion vs. Self Esteem

9/17/2017

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​Over the last several years, so much focus has been on self- esteem. People strive for a healthy, positive sense of self worth with the hope of attaining a level of confidence that will help in relationships, career and life in general. We all want to
feel good about ourselves.
 
But the problem with self-esteem is, it tends to be a judgement on how we rate ourselves against others. Self-esteem is often reliant on societal norms, and what others think is important.
 
According to Kristen Neff, PhD, it is so much more valuable to focus on self-compassion. As a pioneer in the field, Dr. Neff has been researching self-compassion for many years and claims it is much more reliable, less apt to come with certain conditions the way self esteem does, and is directly linked with an improved sense of well being.
 
Self-compassion is all about being kind to yourself. It is about being supportive and even protective. It’s about taking the time to examine your feelings in a non-judgemental way and communicating with yourself in a way that you would with a dear friend. You wouldn’t demean, dismiss or belittle a friend who has turned to you in need, so why do it to yourself?
 
A good step forward in the journey towards self -acceptance is acknowledgement of who we are. The parts of ourselves we like, and those we don’t. We’ve all made mistakes, bad choices and handled situations in less than ideal ways. It doesn’t warrant beating ourselves up. Acknowledgement helps us examine what we want to change and what needs forgiveness. It helps us respond not react.
 
For more info on self-acceptance visit the website www.self-compassion.org
 
Set the intention today to be kinder to yourself.
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